Bigjock, I have heard audi pronounced as you said, but I have also heard it pronounced awdi, as in "audio" or "Claude."

Using that logic, Arfon, shouln't you say "awnt", rhyming with haunt or taunt?

Ok, I think I have the definitive answer:
"as wet as rain."

I think I know what bothers me about this. It's that passive third person thing, You know, when someone says "the problem will be resolved by Thursday" instead of saying "I will resolve the problem by Thursday" because they don't want to take personal responsibility for the problem.

"as sharp as a sack of wet mice."
Ok, it doesn't start with "wet" but it does have "wet" in it.

This has always bothered me too, although I could never quite put my finger on why. Another one that strikes me as similarly odd is "objects in mirror are closer than they appear."

I have seen both gestures, but, Liz, I would ask the same question. What does the "shaking the single index finger" gesture mean then? Is that supposed to be using the switch that was fashioned with the other gesture?:)

I don't know why "even me" would mean the same as "you and me", but even if it did, it would be irrelevant because "you and I" would be the correct usage here. I agree with Helena; I not me.

Actually, your analysis about dropping the "can" is correct, although I would think of it as dropping the following:
"I'm afraid (that you may) not (have the newspaper)."
Why do you think this doesn't make sense? All the dropped words are unnecessary as they are already supplied by the question. It's really no different than saying:
"May I please have the newspaper?"
"No."
Is "No" a nonsensical answer? Is it really necessary to repeat the question with:
"No, you may not have the newspaper"?
Of course not. No, or yes, by themselves can be used to answer a question.
In the affirmative, it's usually:
"I'm afraid so", with so meaning true.
As was mentioned, afraid in this context means filled with regret, concern, or worry, not fear. Any dictionary will give you these alternate definitions.
(By the way, the sentence I used above, "of course not" is structurally similar to "I'm afraid not". it means the same as "of course it is not")

It gets even more complicated when you consider that "could" can function as more than one part of speech, i.e. is somewhat ambiguous.
It could be a past tense, a subjunctive, etc.

With this in mind, I actually think it is unlikely to be used like the example stated:

"Are you going to do it?"
"I'm not sure but I might could."

but more likely like this:

"If I buy tools for you, could you do it?"
"I'm not sure but I might could."

In this case, "I might could" does clarify since just saying "I could" might or might not mean "I definitely would be able to."

In any case, I personally have never even heard of anyone saying "I might could" until this post, and, myself, would say "I might be able to."