... with ellipses (just kidding!)

U for knee = euphony

or

W for quits (Double you or quits) - groan!

M for services should probably read: M4 motorway services

plus

C for miles
F for lump (Heffalump)
G for me, thanks!
D for Estation
P for England (what a relief!)

I know it's an old thread but the alternative (or nonsense - not the Lear version) alphabet always amuses me. Enjoy!

PS my favourite has to be X for breakfast, superb!