A Pome for Phill

You bolloxed eubolics,
ebonics, dialects,
I wonders you walks totally erects,
Quick and clear is real good
and don't need no corrects.

An infinitive is not the "to" form of the verb, as eighth-grade, prescriptivist English teachers proclaim, but the uninflected form, without attribution to time or individuals - thus infinite-ive. "To" helps nominalize the infinitive: "To eat is to live."
"And" has become another nominalizer as in, 'try and eat some spinach!' A gerund works nicely, too. "Try eating some spinach!"

Such an expression is common among native speakers of German. In German the present perfect is always the preferred usage in conversation over the "simple" past. I suspect it is more abundant in archaic English.