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More than a pain in the English!

I’ve read this “old gag” in an Interview with Hitchcock and did not have a damn clue what it could be. Can anybody help? Hitch says: “A for ism, B for brooks, C for Ilander, D for dumb, F for vessence, H for pension, I for Novello, J for orange, K f’rancis, L for leather, M fa size, I’ve forgotten what N’s for. O for the wings of dove. P for relief. Q for food. R fuh mo! S for you. T for two. U fa films. V va la France. W. I can’t remember W. X for breakfast. Y for God’s sake. And Z f’r winds.” I actually get the M, P, T and Y. But what are the rest referring to?

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"...I've forgotten what N's for...W. I can't remember W..."

Goosun, did you forget, or is that supposed to be part of the original puzzle? Also, no one seems to have noticed, but you skipped "E".

Anonymous October 3, 2006, 1:03pm

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lessee.... the ones that spring right out at me are aphorism, beaver brooks, effervescence, age for pension, hell-for-leather, "O for the wings of a dove" is a Bible quote (think "I wish I had the wings of a dove"), queue (line up) for food, as for you, vive la France, eggs for breakfast, "why, for God's sake?", zephyr winds. Have half a clue for C. Can't make out D, I, J, K, R, or U. If "P for relief" is bathroom humor, then I get it too, else not.

speedwell2 February 26, 2004, 1:23pm

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Then there's this I just found:

A few of my off-the-cuff solutions were wrong. (who is Beaverbrooks?)

speedwell2 February 26, 2004, 1:26pm

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I: Ivor Novello was a British actor, I think.
K: Kaye Francis, an actress

Adam Rice February 26, 2004, 4:42pm

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Tanx f' da link! How the hell did you find it? I've still got difficulties to make sense of many of them.

goossun February 27, 2004, 8:46am

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D: deaf or dumb (mute)

Adam Rice February 27, 2004, 10:24am

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Lord Beaverbrook? The Beaverbrook family
H(ostel) for Pension?
hell for leather
'O for the wings of a dove' is the first line of a song that people love to hear boy sopranos warble

anteater February 28, 2004, 12:43am

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Deaf [pronounced "deef"] or dumb
Jaffa orange
UFA Films [a great preWar German studio]
'arf a mo' [half a moment; Cockney]

pbickart February 28, 2004, 12:51pm

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Z f'r winds is zephyr, atype of wind.

foreleft18 March 1, 2004, 7:17am

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... with ellipses (just kidding!)

U for knee = euphony


W for quits (Double you or quits) - groan!

M for services should probably read: M4 motorway services


C for miles
F for lump (Heffalump)
G for me, thanks!
D for Estation
P for England (what a relief!)

I know it's an old thread but the alternative (or nonsense - not the Lear version) alphabet always amuses me. Enjoy!

PS my favourite has to be X for breakfast, superb!

edrickenbacker October 2, 2006, 5:53pm

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F is effavesence or however its spelt

fidler March 8, 2004, 4:26pm

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Beaverbrooks (Family owning the Daily Express in England, published 1913)
Seaforth Highlander
Deaf or Dumb

Anonymous March 9, 2004, 9:00am

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Only a couple I can't do.

A for 'orses (Hay for horses)
A for ism (afforism)
A for Gardner (Eva Gardner)
B for mutton (Beef or mutton)
C for yourself (see for yourself)
C for th'highlanders (Seaforth Highlanders)
D for rent (different)
E for brick (heave a brick)
E for Peron (Eva Peron)
F for vest (effervesced)
F for been had (Ever been had?)
G for sis (G Forces)
G for staff (Chief of Staff)
G for police (Chief of Police)
H for retirement (age for retirement)
I for lutin' (high faluting)
I for Novello (Ivor Novello)
I for hangover (I've a hangover)
I for get (I forget)
J for oranges (Jaffa oranges. Jaffa is a town near Tel Aviv in Israel (now swallowed by Tel Aviv's sprawl), famous for oranges. It's often spelled Yafo nowdays. Jaffa is also a choclate-orange flavour, an a lolly with a choc centre covered in an orange candy crust.)
K for teria (cafeteria)
K for ancis (Kay Francis)
K for restaurant (cafe or restaurant. Brits pronounce 'cafe' as 'kaf' not 'kafay')
K for a drink ('care for a drink?': Use an upper class English accent)
L for leather (hell for leather)
L for fairy (elf or fairy)
M for size (emphasize)
M for services (???)
N for a penny (in for a penny... in for a pound)
N for lope (envelope)
N for mation please (information please)
O for the rainbow (over the rainbow: the Wizard of Oz song)
O for goodness' sake (oh for goodness' sake!)
P for brook (Beaverbrook)
P for i, timpani, cembali! (???)
P for a whistle (pea for a whistle: the old football/train conductor whistles with peas inside to increase their volume)
Q for billiards (cue for billards, ie a pool cue)
Q for the bus (queue for the bus)
Q for a song (cue for a song: "a one, and a two, and a one, two three...")
R for mo ('arf a mo: half a moment, ie 'hold on')
R for Godfrey {or askey] (Arthur Godfrey/Askey)
S for me, give me liberty or give me death (As for me, give me...)
S for Williams (Esther Williams)
T for two (tea for two: old song)
T for mation (T-formation: in US football)
U for mystic (euphemistic)
U for cough (you've a cough)
U for nerve (you've a nerve!)
U for knee (???)
U for age (youth or age)
U for instance (you, for instance)
V for Zapata (Viva Zapata!)
V for l'amour (vive l'armour)
V for France (Vive la France)
V for la difference (Vive la difference)
V for voce (Via Voce)
W for a nickel [or bob, or quid, or quits] (trouble you for a nickel/bob/quid/quits? Bob=shilling, quid = pound in UK currency)
X for breakfast (eggs for breakfast)
Y for mistress [or husband] (Wife or mistress/ wife or husband)
Y for crying out loud (why for crying out loud)
Z for breezes (zephyr breezes)

z-boy April 1, 2004, 3:28am

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Yeah, I saw that website too, Z.

AFTER I tried my best to guess.

speedwell2 April 1, 2004, 8:38am

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Yes     No